The most annoying version of 12 Days of Christmas ever! (Apologies to Alvin, Simon, Tyrone or was that Tyrese? and of course, their … Chipettes)
Chipettes. Please allow that to sink in for a moment. Thank you.
Sorry I had to post the chipmonks version of 12 Days of Christmas and traumatize perfectly delicate and respectable eardrums. It’s just that the other day, I was belting out what I thought was a decent Celine Dion — albeit, karaoke — rendition of this Yuletide anthem, until our neighbors began pounding on our gate, demanding a stop to, and I quote, “the squirrel in heat”.
Granted it was 2 a.m. but did they really have to resort to name calling?
And to think there are no squirrels in this city, instead we have rodents here right?, so I got super pissed and e-mailed them this video:
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
They e-mailed back:
The nerve.
Blocked!
Anyway, in honor of the upcoming COP 21, here’s our very own version of 12 Days of Christmas,
Presenting,
11 Days of C-O-P (See-Oh-Pee)
(A Really Really Pragmatic Version)
By Apples Jalandoni
On the first day of C-O-P
my true love gave to me:
A Partridge in a Pear Tree
Nothing
On the second day of C-O-P
my true love gave to me:
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
Panda socks, maybe
On the third day of C-O-P
my true love gave to me:
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
Thermal socks ‘coz turns out regular panda socks couldn’t keep me warm, you see
On the fourth day of C-O-P
my true love gave to me:
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
Nothing, really (well… not unless the tons of reading materials on the Kyoto Protocol be considered a gift…whoopee)
On the fifth day of C-O-P
my true love gave to me:
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
Just a smile, baby (but a book would be just as appreciated he he he)
On the sixth day of C-O-P
my true love gave to me:
Six Geese a Laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
Salami and mozzarella calzone (enter a soft Tremolo)
On the seventh day of C-O-P
my true love gave to me:
Seven Swans a Swimming
Six Geese a Laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
Italian prosciutto with melted cheddar and bleu cheese paniniiiiii (rapid Tremolo)
On the eighth day of C-O-P
my true love gave to me:
Eight Maids a Milking
Seven Swans a Swimming
Six Geese a Laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
Piping hot coffeeeeeeee (Vibrato!)
On the ninth day of C-O-P
my true love gave to me:
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids a Milking
Seven Swans a Swimming
Six Geese a Laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
Skip-the-long-line trip to the Musée
On the tenth day of C-O-P
my true love gave to me:
Ten Lords a Leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids a Milkingadfjk
Seven Swans a Swimming
Six Geese a Laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
Can’t remember (not in the mood)
On the eleventh day of C-O-P
my true love gave to me:
Eleven Pipers Piping
Ten Lords a Leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids a Milking
Seven Swans a Swimming
Six Geese a Laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
Secret 😛
On the twelfth day of C-O-P
my true love gave to me:
12 Drummers Drumming
Eleven Pipers Piping
Ten Lords a Leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids a Milking
Seven Swans a Swimming
Six Geese a Laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
Uhm, there are only eleven days to COP21. So we can only hope for the best, right?, like for instance, that the summit will finish right on schedule. After all, I know many, including myself, have forever been pining, yearning, longing, hankering?, for these three sweet words:
Legally. Binding. Agreement.
So it shall be done.
And speaking of Yuletide anthems, If I had Kelly Clarkson’s soprano skills, I would totally karaoke my very amusing neighbors out of town with this:
he he he
Cheers!